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Exhaustion

  • Nov. 17th, 2009 at 1:17 PM
Caffeine
I am in a place where I have about fifty million papers to grade and forty thousand lesson plans to design. Ok, I am exaggerating a little, but I don't see an end in sight yet. I even asked Dan to take Dassi on my two week days because I am just that behind. To top matters off, I had a student decide to have surgery the last week of class, so she will miss the final. I have to get my lecture notes for Chapter Four and all assignments given to her tomorrow so that she can take the final before Thanksgiving break. Craziness.

I did however finally finish my admissions essay to grad school and submitted it. I wasn't particularly proud of it, but then again the subject (why Kaplan is right for you?) was not exactly the most thrilling. For the record, my admissions advisor said that the essay was "nice." WTF?
** I talked to the advisor this evening, and he said he was really pleased with my essay and thought it was very well written. I thought it was a longwinded piece of shit.

Not much is new here in soggy land, other than it is finally drying up. Just one more week until Thanksgiving break and my debut drive over the Bay Bridge (terrifying!) At least, once over the bridge, I can have a relaxing long weekend in Ohio. (But I am more looking forward to my December trip to Vermont to see an very good friend!)

Trying not to drown...

  • Nov. 13th, 2009 at 9:06 PM
Caffeine
We are being hit by a Nor'easter here in DE. A state of emergency has been declared. Lots of roads are underwater. Every school in the county was closed, every school except DelTech. I got to school with Dassi in tow (what else could I do with her?) I bought her a new coloring book, markers, a puzzle, and brought her new doll (I gave her my American Girl doll last week) and several of her books on CD. Surprisingly several students showed up. There was only a light rain going on when I left home about 7:30am. But by 10:30am, it was pouring again. Cindy offered to take my class so I could take Dassi home. Dassi didn't want to leave because she was having a great time working with Rosetta Stone, but we left and hung out at home.

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Crazy Tired

  • Nov. 5th, 2009 at 7:31 PM
I need a break!
I am in the home stretch of my work week for this week. I have to finish up Chapter Three for my Thursday night kids (they're taking a quiz right now) and then I have the Rosetta Stone class tomorrow and then about 3pm I'll have a lovely weekend with my Dassi. I was so tired last night that I just went to bed when I got home from DelTech. I got up feeling refreshed (yet behind in work) but now I am dragging again. I will have to do some work tonight to be prepared for the Stoners, but I don't have to be in quite as early as I usually am. I just realized that if you count grading and planning time I am work very near to 60 hours a week. Why can't I ever get ahead!

Villainy

  • Oct. 29th, 2009 at 11:21 PM
Caffeine
Today was Muffins for Mom at TJS. I had emailed the ex about it, and the school at sent three emails. I got to school and was waiting for Dassi to come, but by the time morning exercises were over she still wasn't here. I called the ex. "Oh, it's a sleep-in day," he says. Why does she need a sleep-in day  when she went to bed at 6pm yesterday? Click.
A) it is completely obvious that he has kept her home deliberately in a petty attempt to hurt me
B) WTF is "sleep-in" day? You either go to school on time or you stay home because you are sick. There are no "sleep-in" days. If I called up my boss and said, "Oh, I'm still tired, and I won't be in until 10, I am having a sleep-in day."I wonder just how fast I would be fired.
C) He has hurt Dassi more than me. I had told her I would do muffins with mom with her. (I was attempting to make up for the fact he didn't show for Donuts for Dad--but I didn't point that out to her obviously.)
This is a see-through attempt to deliberately annoy me. I don't deliberately do things to annoy him (aside from breathe) so WTF is his problem?

Grad School

  • Oct. 21st, 2009 at 7:00 PM
Doctor Brain
I have decided to go for my Master's degree--I plan to get it in Higher Education through Kaplan University. I'll be doing my coursework online (the only way I can with my schedule) and should be finished in about 15 months (knock on wood.) I had my phone interview last night, and now I am working on submitting my transcript and resume and the application essay. No GRE's thank G-d! Juggling this into my world is going to take skill, but I think it's the only way I am going to be able to climb the education ladder at this point.

Dan and I continue to argue about Dassi's religious education. Now, he has said he is going to start attending church. WTF! He has shown no interest in religion since we moved to DE. He is just doing this to annoy me. I don't do things deliberately to annoy him (well, besides breathing). We agreed to raise her Jewish when she was born. It was a vow before G-d unlike our marriage which was civil. You just don't tell G-d you made a mistake about what religion you are going to bring up your child. The battle continues...

It's Wednesday, and I am starting to get very tired. One more 14 hour day and then a six hour class on Friday before I can finally rest. I have Dassi this weekend, so I need to come up with something creative to do. Friday evening we may go see "Where the Wild Things Are".

Dassi told me last night that she thinks that Dan and I don't live together anymore because my cat, Leica, hates Dan. This is true too, and Leica did start to pee all over Dan's stuff when we went to separate bedrooms. I am happy with that explanation. It works while she is so young.

I am sitting here writing this as my Wed night Span class takes an exam. I should be grading stuff or preparing for TJS tomorrow, but I am just too damn tired.

Not much else is new otherwise.

End of the Week

  • Oct. 9th, 2009 at 11:23 PM
Doctor Donna

I am almost done with Dassi's wimple for religious school consecration on Sunday. I am rather pleased with it considering how little time I had to create it and also considering that I had never heard of a wimple before. There's only one little mistake--the vav in Dassi's middle name in Hebrew looks a bit too much like a resh. I tried to make the resh longer, but it doesn't help too much. I wonder if I used wite-out if it would look terrible. The only thing I have left to do is iron on the English letters. Unfortunately, I left my iron at TJS so I either have to find a neighbor to lend me theirs for 15min or go buy a new one.

Tomorrow I am taking Dassi to the Philadelphia Zoo. It is my first long distance trip alone to a big city, but it is a shorter drive than Wooster to Xenia. Hopefully, it will go allright. It is just a day trip as Dassi has Hebrew School Sunday morning.

I was very ticked off with Dassi this evening. I thought she had gone to bed, but she appeared in the living room covered in white powder 45 mins after I thought she was asleep. In my room, I discovered she had mixed shoe powder with my rather expensive Dead Sea Body Butter and decorated my vanity. I sent her to her room. She yelled that she was hungry. I told her she could have bread and water. I got her bread and water and told her she could eat it or starve. I went in to clean up my room and when I came out she was asleep on the couch.

Not much is new. Dan is giving me a hard time because he found out in July that my friend's au pair let Dassi ride in the front seat when she took her to the pool. Let me tell you that this trip was less than 2/10's of a mile, in a car that was going less than 5 mph and on a private road at that. Not only that, but I didn't even know about it until after it happened. He is causing a huge fuss about it. He is such a pratt. Now, while he is causing a fuss about something that I can't do anything about, both the phys ed teacher and her classroom teacher as well as I have noticed that the lunches he packs for Dassi are full of carbs and have hardly any protein. Today's lunch consisted of a small peanut butter sandwich, graham crackers, goldfish, fig newtons, a granola bar, and an apple. Despite the fact, that I have pointed this out several times, he continues to chose to ignore me. Don't you think he should be concerned about his daughter's nutrition?

In bed with tissues...

  • Sep. 27th, 2009 at 10:47 PM
I need a break!


It never fails. I haven't made it to a Yom Kippur Service in three years. I always end up getting sick somehow. This morning I woke up with a horrendous head cold. I went to work at Disney but Judy sent me home after awhile because I was using too many tissues. I went home, had a bit of dinner and promptly fell asleep. I woke up two minutes before services were to start. Technically, I still could have made it JST (Jewish Standard Time) but I still feel lousy, and I somehow doubt the cantor would've appreciated a "horn" accompainment to Kol Nidre. So, I am just taking it easy for now. Thank G-d, I have tomorrow off so I can really rest up.

In other news, Dassi started to read. My spelling of bad words days are over. Maybe I can just switch to swearing in German? Anyway, Dassi cried at school on Friday. She wanted to go home with me. It's the hardest thing I have to do. I kiss her, tell her I lover her, but it's Papi's turn, and then I walk away. I also feel a little gulity for secretly feeling gleeful whenever she says that she doesn't want to go with her father. I'm sure it's normal and human, but  it's a bit... I don't know...wrong, maybe, for me to feel this way. Well, I have her Monday and Tuesday and hopefully we can make up for lost time. She'll be very pleased when she gets home tomorrow--the little girl that I tutor outgrew her dollhouse and gave it to Dassi. (Dassi doesn't know yet.) I have it all set up for her for when she gets home. Her little eyes will pop out of her head.

I triumphed over the dishwasher today. The handle got stuck and the door wouldn't lock, so naturally, no clean dishes. I got out my screwdrivers and a hammer and after some light pounding and heavy swearing, the handle now works again. Of course, I should start thinking of saving for a new dishwasher--it is after all more than 30 years old. I better be prepared for it to croak at any moment.

Well, I'm going back to sleep.

Days of my life...

  • Sep. 23rd, 2009 at 11:03 PM
Caffeine
I am taking a bit of a break this week. Dan borrowed Dassi yesterday and today for some Girl Scout thing, so my life was a little less hectic, and this is the first week I don't have to prepare a lecture as my classes at Deltech are all taking their Chapter One assessment this week.
I got my flu shot today. Hopefully, it doesn't scar like last year's did. Here's my embarrassing moment of the day: I wore a skirt. I was walking from Jason to ASC (two bulidings on the Deltech campus) and I was pulling my stupid cart with my laptop and bookbag on it. I stopped in the bathroom and when I came out of the stall to wash my hands I noticed my laptop bag was gone. I rushed out of the bathroom, retracing my steps, and found it in the hall. I turned around to see all these students sniggering. I went back in the bathroom. My skirt had gotten caught in the waistband of my nylons. There are about 15 DelTech students that have now seen my ass. Thank G-d, they weren't actually my students. Well, I've got my skirt wearing in for the month, so it will be back to trousers tomorrow.

*** I went home and was getting ready for bed when I realized the underwear I was wearing had "SPANK ME" in rather large letters across the butt. Once again, I am ever thankful that the students who saw this were not my students.

It's the beginning of the school year, and I am already behind. I never seem to catch up. Maybe this weekend things will get better and I can breathe again.

Reading the new Diana Gabaldon book....

I am in control?

  • Aug. 25th, 2009 at 6:59 AM
Master
So, my friend Patricia said that she wants to be like me, totally in control and I know how to handle men. I told her that it was a clever illusion, no one is totally in control and I am only adept at handling men when getting rid of them. On the other hand, since getting rid of of the issue, I feel great. Both Patricia and Susan say I have a "glow" about me. I'm losing weight and enjoying myself.

I taught at DelTech today, which was fun. So much nicer than slogging away at Disney (and a lot more money.) Unfortunately, I have to do Disney tonight. I have an on call 2-4 and then I am scheduled 4-10--I hope to high heaven that I don't get called in because 4-10 is just about my limit. While I am much better and almost back to normal I still don't have my old stamina. It's coming back, but I'm not quite there yet.

Not much else is new.

Relaxation Day

  • Aug. 22nd, 2009 at 7:50 PM
I need a break!
So, I got a nice hair cut --or rather a trim because I am growing it out. It really needed it. I took Dassi along, and she managed to get a haircut too. She looks really cute. Then we got manicures and pedicures. I've never had a manicure/pedicure before so this is an extra special treat.
Dassi and I were really girly today. After the morning bath, I got out the body butter and gave Dassi a massage and she gave me one, and then we put on make-up--I only let Dassi have a little pale eye shadow and light blush, but it was fun.

We've mainly done shopping today. I had to get a new lock for the front door--the old one keeps getting stuck and I got a new can opener. My old can opener was useless and last week when I cut my finger open again, I got mad and threw it in the trash. So this new can opener is electric.

Not much is new except that I think Dassi may be lactose intolerant. She's been complaining of belly aches and they occur roughly half and hour or so after she's drunk milk or had something with milk in it.

And we're back in business...almost

  • Aug. 12th, 2009 at 1:29 AM
Doctors


I saw the surgeon today. He says everything looks good. I had a tiny infection where the incision had scabbed over in my belly button, but he drained it and told me to keep Neosporin on it. He said to keep taking it easy and not to lift over ten pounds for another three weeks, but otherwise I was good to go. Working at Disney was easier tonight. Gary was worried that I was doing too much, but I told him that while, yes, towards the end of the shift I was hurting a bit, it was getting a little easier day by day, and I needed to keep working to get back to where I was before the surgery. As long as the shifts weren't longer than 5 hours I can handle it. And tonight, I did a decent job. I was mostly ringing and folding t-shirts, but I did some light filling as well.

Dan came over this morning to pick up Dassi's costume for the play she is in tomorrow. We mapped out the schedule for sharing Dassi from now til the new year. I will have her Mondays and Tuesdays. Dan has her Wednesdays and Thursdays. Then we alternate weekends.

John came over and fixed the rails on  Dassi's bunkbed. Unfortunately, the mattress that I thought I would use for the top doesn't fit. It's too small. So, I will have to save up to get her a mattress so she can sleep up there. I left the cot mattress up so she can at least play up there.

I've lost some weight. I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday, and I am definitely slimming down. Yes!

I've just watched Doctor Who: The Dead Planet--which was the Easter special. It is complete crap. I hope the other specials are better.

Mid-Summer Update

  • Aug. 8th, 2009 at 11:26 PM
Doctor Brain
Well, I'm back to work although I am in quite a bit of pain towards the end of the shift. Gary told me I need to smile more. I told him if he paid for the Vicodin, I might be able to manage an amiable, slightly stoned expression. I've been tidying more than filling, but I've been staying away from the register because if I stand stationary for too long my sciatic nerve goes numb. Tonight, I have had some sharp pains in my right side. Obviously, it can't be my appendix, but I am worried I might have another cyst rupturing on my ovary. I see the surgeon on Tuesday, so I'll talk to him about it then. I probably should make an appointment to see Dr. Eschbach, my OB/GYN.

On a cheerier note, I have been discharged from therapy and am now unmedicated except for the occasional Aleve. No more Prozac and Xanax! I am sleeping now normal amounts not just 3 or 4 hours. I am losing weight, an dI am enjoying myself very much. I miss Dassi very much when she's not around, but it's better for her to have have us in separate doses because together we drive each other crazy.

Gary is letting me go home for Thanksgiving. This is my year to have Dassi for Thanksgiving. Company policy is that everyone must work on Black Friday, but he's being very nice.

Not much else is new.

Ok, I am ready to do stuff NOW!

  • Jul. 31st, 2009 at 9:36 AM
Caffeine
I am getting bored with the whole surgery recovery thing. I am tired of sitting quietly, reading books, watching TV, napping. I want to go back to work. I want to play with Dassi. I want to clean my house, make gorgeous meals, and tutor Spanish. Unfortunately, I am still stuck at home reading books, watching tv, and napping because I am not allowed to drive until August 10, and I am not allowed to lift anything larger than 5 lbs.

I am re-reading Harry Potter 7 and watching "The Big Bang Theory"-- the latter  of which is so funny I frequently hurt myself laughing over it. I would say I pull my stitches but I don't have any. I have three very small what look like scratches--one in my belly button, one to the right of my belly button and one on my C-section scar. I can hardly believe that they managed to remove my appendix, remove the rupturing cyst, and fix my hernia through these little tiny incisions. However, I still feel like I've taken a pilates class and way over done it.

I really miss Dassi. I was supposed to have her from Wednesday, but I can't take care of her in this state. She's come to see me twice, but today and tomorrow she's with her grandmother in Laurel, so I shan't get to see her. Maybe Sunday I can work out an arrangement with Dan where I can have her but he has to take her to and pick her up from camp next week.

I miss my house. I am staying with my friend Patricia. It's very nice of her to take care of me while I am out of it, but I miss doing for myself and taking care of my place. I miss Leica too. Patricia is deathly afraid of cats, so I can't have her over here. I know Leica is fine. Patricia takes me over everyday to feed her and give her some attention, but I miss having her on the bed with me and just being around.

Well, I better get off and get showered and start another boring day.

Would you like surgery with your day?

  • Jul. 29th, 2009 at 12:18 PM
WTF
So, Monday I woke up feeling fine. I went into work, and I had been there about an hour when nature began calling again and again and again. Then I had pain shooting through my right side. And then I started to feel sick. So, my manager sent me home. On the way, I called the doctor and she said I should go to the ER just to make sure it wasn't appendicitis. So, I drive myself to the ER, and they give me a CT scan. Guess what? Not only do I have appendicitis but I also have a rupturing ovarian cyst and a hernia. Two hours later I went under the knife. I spent Monday in the hospital and then they let me go home (or rather to my friend Patricia's house) yesterday. I am really sore, but not really in too much pain (except when it gets to be half an hour before I can take my vicodin).

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Online updating sucks...

  • Jul. 23rd, 2009 at 12:42 AM
Make a sentence
I am desperately trying to check the balance on my checking account, but the damn thing is updating and online banking is temporarily unavailable. I hate that. It is so freaking annoying. I would like to know what pittance Disney is paying me this week.

Not much is new. I got my one year service award for working at Disney. It was a very nice Steamboat Willie pin. Frankly, I would have preferred a raise.

I am still waiting to hear about my food stamp application. I called this afternoon and left a message.

My cell phone is getting worse. I can hardy hear anyone, it cuts out, it doesn't let me dial voicemail half the time. I called today, but I have to call the service line from a different phone to troublehoot it. How I am going to do that, I have not yet discovered. Why can't they just send me a new phone? It's obviously defective--I've only had it 3 weeks.

I joined Netflix. I saw Inkheart which I thought was rather better than the book, and I've been watching The Tudors. I haven't seen TV on a regular basis for 11 years now so I was quite surprised with what they can get away with.

Deltech is offering me three classes next semester. Hopefully, they will make. I could certainly do with the flow.

I'm starting to lose weight and feel more relaxed--although I was stressed out this evening when Dassi refused to go to sleep. She finally crashed around 10:40pm. I didn't know what to do. She just would not lie down and give up the fight. I am afraid she's going to be a night owl like me.

Bloody Bunk!

  • Jul. 18th, 2009 at 6:33 PM
Clucking Bell
I had intended to spend a very entertaining afternoon and evening by swearing at the bunk bed I bought for Dassi as I put it together. However, upon arrival at the furniture store, I discovered that the bloody bed won't fit in my car. I am so bored now. I've trimmed my hedges and weeded and window shopped. I even went to the movies and saw Public Enemies, but now I am really bored. There is absolutely nothing to do around here.

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108 cartons of shipment...

  • Jul. 16th, 2009 at 11:45 PM
Sneaks--Tools
I so rule! I did 108 cartons of shipment all by myself at Disney today.

Meanwhile, Dan had the audacity to suggest that if he gave me money that I would just spend it on DVDs. WTF! I am working my ass off at Disney for a freakin pittance, I can barely pay my bills. I make less than $20,000 a year, and he thinks I'm going to waste child support and alimony on movies? He's a bigger idiot than I thought.He's got some nerve.

Not much is new here. I have a new tutorial and a new Disney shipment to deal with tomorrow. I am trying to scrape together my car payment.

I love being single again though. No one but myself to drive crazy.

Life has no plot

  • Jul. 8th, 2009 at 11:30 PM
Caffeine
So, I am living moment to moment. I am enjoying being on my own even if the money is extremely tight. I've been having weird dreams about a certain person--not Dan--and wondering where they are coming from and what they mean. Dassi is being worn out completely in camp. She's been very cranky when I've picked her up, and she is so overtire she has trouble getting to sleep. I wonder if I'll ever be able to just take off a summer and hang out with her.

Dan and I are being very civil. Much more civil than when we were together. Dassi has taken the separation well, I think. Maybe, she has less stress to deal with now that there isn't tension all around.  I am very lonely when she's not here.

I just read "The Daughter of Time" by Josephine Tey. It was a great read. I am going to have to get some new books. I am tired of reading the old ones over and over again.

More time, please!

  • Jul. 1st, 2009 at 10:10 PM
Sneaks--Tools
I was so very proud of Dassi today. She had her five year old check-up and ended up having to get four shots. She got them in her arms and she didn't cry at all. Not only that, she never complained once all day about her arms hurting. I dropped her off at camp, did my tutoring gig, went shopping, and picked her up, and she was chipper and cheerful. After camp we took a picnic to the beach and swam around for an hour. We stopped for ice cream at the DQ and then went home. She took her bath, dried off, put on her new Snow White nightgown and promptly went to bed. We've been having such a good time. I called Dan and asked if he would help me to have her tomorrow and Friday as well.  Originally, I was just going to have him pick her up after camp and take her to his house as I work until 6pm, but I can't bear to be parted from her just yet. So, Dan will pick up from camp tomorrow and take her to the park, and I will meet them there. That way, I can have her tomorrow and Friday.

It's awfully lonely here without her.

Lonely...

  • Jun. 27th, 2009 at 8:13 PM
Doctor Donna
It's lonely here tonight without Dassi, and without Mom and Dad, too, but especially without Dassi. I didn't get called into work today, so I spent the day mucking about the house. I did go out and buy some stuff--a box for Dassi's Barbies and other dollar store items, but mostly I hung around here doing laundry and opening and sorting boxes. I've run out of things to do now and am bored. Dassi is with Dan the next 4 days.

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